Yesterday I saw a dead cat and it was the most horrible sight of my life and I'd rather split my ass in two and sell the parts on Nigerian black markets than see something like this ever again.

It wasn't just a dead fucking cat. It was a cute dead fucking cat. I've seen dead things before- ducks, rats, dogs, sometimes human people and occasionally even cats. No problemos. Fat cats, ugly cats, old cats, driven over cats.

But that one? Deaddest of 'em all.

Me, innocent little angel, walking down the street after my theory driving class, I see it's back. It looked like it was playing with something, except it wasn't moving. It was pretty tiny, maybe 5 months old, black with white spots and I totally fell in love. I hurried up because whenever I approach cats, they seem to sense and get the fuck up for the sake of their lives (not that I torture cats. I just like to scare them sometimes. Talk about instantaneous karma).

And then, when I passed and turned around- I swear I almost puked over it. Then I wanted to cry, but it looked so... Itchy & Scratchy, I kinda wanted to laugh, too, except I couldn't.

It was a normal cat, except it's eyes popped out and the skull was broken and the tounge was cut lying in front of her and it looked pretty awesome. I kept my coolness and went on, but then last night I had very sexy thoughts and suddenly, all I could think of was the image of that dead cat.

I even googled it because I wanted to find a picture of it, but in our shitty town I'm probably the only one who has a camera AND connection to the holy sacred Internet- like, simultaneously.

Fucking hell. Oh and I have a second blog now, but it's in German. You can check it out anyway because I'll post videos sometimes. Experience tells me one of the blogs is going to vanish sooner or later as always, because I can't just deal with a secret blog and one that is in German. I'll mesh it up again. Yee-ha. Oh and please if you decide to leave a comment for whatever reason, don't mention this blog here because my friends don't know about it and in the future, I'll keep wanting to write about them. Secrecy is the big word here.

Jesus, that cat...