I'm No Superman
Man, I just re-read the gibberish about my past again and I find it's a vomit of words, and I can't help but pity everyone who read that crap. I mean, not the content- the content is truthful and sincere as can be. But the style, the writing- lack of creativity or hey, talent, anyone?
I'm a writer sort of person. Not necessarily successful and also, nobody wants to really read what I write for the sake of my genius, but still I'm a writer. When I write for myself, say when I'm bored or traumatized by something, it usually turns out really good. But I can't share because it will most likely contain either a weird sexual fetish that is regarded as perverted by everyone I know, or it's a well-kept secret. The so called skeleton in the closet. These things I burn or trash as soon as I'm over it, and then write a post about how sad and depressed I am without giving any proper reason. And since I'll have given all the fuel into secret stuff I write, my posts are sullen and dull.
Not that I really care- I mean, sure, it's cool when people know what's going on in your head and take part of it and tell you their opinions- but I don't force anyone into reading this, mainly for the fact that I know I'm really no stunner.
Still, considering myself a writer, I'll be pissed off about blogging or writing anything at all that others can read. That's why I'll never be able to publish a book or write something else than short posts. It's because the really interesting thing (at least I think they are interesting) are my weaknesses, and I hate to share those... except lousy stories from the past, but those will turn out gruesome to anyone who likes to read a good novel because I write too emotionally to keep an order of things. No structure, no style, and since I'm no native English speaker also lack of vocabulary. Especially lack of vocabulary.
That's why I've taken on filler words such as "like", "dude", "man" or different phrases like "oh my god", "you know", "I mean"- useless. Ultimately, I suck. But you know what, I'm not going to dig further here- I'll just go and write it down on a sheet of paper that I'll tear up right afterwards. And yet, I'll feel better.
I'm a writer sort of person. Not necessarily successful and also, nobody wants to really read what I write for the sake of my genius, but still I'm a writer. When I write for myself, say when I'm bored or traumatized by something, it usually turns out really good. But I can't share because it will most likely contain either a weird sexual fetish that is regarded as perverted by everyone I know, or it's a well-kept secret. The so called skeleton in the closet. These things I burn or trash as soon as I'm over it, and then write a post about how sad and depressed I am without giving any proper reason. And since I'll have given all the fuel into secret stuff I write, my posts are sullen and dull.
Not that I really care- I mean, sure, it's cool when people know what's going on in your head and take part of it and tell you their opinions- but I don't force anyone into reading this, mainly for the fact that I know I'm really no stunner.
Still, considering myself a writer, I'll be pissed off about blogging or writing anything at all that others can read. That's why I'll never be able to publish a book or write something else than short posts. It's because the really interesting thing (at least I think they are interesting) are my weaknesses, and I hate to share those... except lousy stories from the past, but those will turn out gruesome to anyone who likes to read a good novel because I write too emotionally to keep an order of things. No structure, no style, and since I'm no native English speaker also lack of vocabulary. Especially lack of vocabulary.
That's why I've taken on filler words such as "like", "dude", "man" or different phrases like "oh my god", "you know", "I mean"- useless. Ultimately, I suck. But you know what, I'm not going to dig further here- I'll just go and write it down on a sheet of paper that I'll tear up right afterwards. And yet, I'll feel better.
skysurfer - Nov 17, 23:15
