It's official now: I'm the worst friend on the entire face of the earth, in our galaxy and in this whole fucking universe. If I were to meet me on the street, I'd make a U-Turn on the spot, no matter what it cost me. No really. I might seem cute, but hell, there are no words for this.

While I was visiting Munich, I stayed at Cucumber's place. She'd offered me in return to my offer a couple of months ago. It's a three day trip, and although I feel repulsed by her parents and I'd rather be independent - especially playing it tourist - I accepted the generous offer. After all, I'm a cheap person, and I needed a cheap place to stay (no seriously. Twenty bucks in my pocket? I'm so going to rent a 6 star suite at the 4 Seasons).

Anyway, I'd have had better plans than spending my time with a single person, but she's nice, noble and plenty fun. I don't see her all that much and almost never talk to her on the phone, so I thought this could be a good opportunity to take a break from my current life and just, you know, let all chains hang loose. But she's also very loud. And childish. And naive. And annoying. And she tries too hard! That's that one thing you shouldn't do about me. Don't try to buy me. Don't compliment me. Don't-- nothing! The more you do it, the more you get on my nerves. It's a common rule. And after this, I'm going to print posters and put them up at every corner of this fucking town.

I returned home on Wednesday. Had a fun time, spent more money than I had & way too many hours without sleep, hey, can't possibly complain. Two hours after my arrival I get a phone call from her: Hey, I'm going to come over tomorrow so we can continue the party.

Uh. Okay. I'm broke, but no problem, we're going to find some way around that one. My parents? They really won't mind. Me? Well, I really like my bed, but okay. This could be fun.

People, it's not. It's Saturday and I'm going insane. When I asked her how long she was going to stay, she said "well, I don't know, two weeks or something?". Two weeks. TWO WEEKS. She's messy. She's clumsy. My friends are bored of her. I want my bed back. My parents wanted to go on a two day trip to Paris as a surprise, and now we can't go because she's here and I just couldn't tell her to stay somewhere else.

And then she- she just takes my things! Don't get me wrong- I don't mind if people use my shampoo or borrow my clothes, but she really digs out stuff from my drawers and from my hideouts. The first couple of times she showed up some stuff and used, I thought I had just uncautiously left them lying around- but then she asked if she could "open that bottle of Dior" that I am a hundred percent sure I had put in the last corner of my underwear drawer. What is she, trained by Intelligence, here for espionage? Looking for a love letter? Don't spread your fingers, man!

I got crazy this afternoon when a friend of hers visited her - at my place - while I was visiting another friend in the hospital, and they smoked cigarettes on our porch and left the stubs lying around. I really don't give a fuck about things like this, but my father saw it and thought I was the one who smoked, and I had to beg him to believe me I wouldn't (of course I smoke. But there's really no obligation for my parents to know of this. And there's a reason why I was able to hide it for 3 years now). I told her I'm going to visit my aunt in Cologne for a week on Monday, I just wanted her to leave. Know what she said?

"Well, think your parents would mind if I stayed while you were gone? I can wait for you. We can go partying when you're back. And meanwhile, I can go out with your friends."

I told her how I hated all this unorganized crap- she should've told me how long she was going to stay or at least checked with someone else if they had some space left- just in case. And this is case. Deep shit kind of case. Long story short, she ended up crying because there's nowhere to go while I'm in Cologne (which I'm not. I'm staying here. But I can't possibly tell her that anymore) so she has to go back home to Munich.

Way to go. I know I have reasons to be mad at her, but I just can't get over the fact that I disappointed her so much, after all she has done for me- offered me a place to stay, took me along to parties, bought me drinks (hey, I might be cheap but that time I really didn't ask for it!), she even fucking made me a lunch pack on my train ride. I just don't like her.